How I've been doing along the way...

On Monday, March 16th, I awoke to a surprising email that my school district would have an eLearning day due to hazardous road conditions which had developed overnight. Around 11:05 a.m., while I was technically on my "lunch break," I received the call from the hematology provider whom I'd met with the previous Thursday when my blood had been drawn. She told me I had AML, and I needed to be admitted to the hospital by the end of the day.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. Nothing can prepare you for a call like that. I had about 5 - 10 minutes before I was to begin leading my final eLearning class of the day, an ELA (reading & writing) class in which many of the students saw me online earlier that morning for our Math class. My first phone call, made in a complete stupor, was to my excellent co-teacher and friend, Jenni - I had not mentioned the blood test taken the previous week to her yet. I can't imagine Jenni's frame of mind as she heard me tell her this unbelievable news and then had to lead the ELA class herself within minutes.

But this is where God's hand began to reveal itself in this most unexpected journey. Normally, I would've been at school at 11:05 a.m. on a Monday morning. I might not have even returned the provider's call until after school that day. Yet, because of the weather, I was at home and able to deal with this in privacy.

I don't believe that in the many years I have been teaching that I have had a co-teacher for each of my ELA classes in the same year. What a blessing it was to know that Jenni would be able to lead the students that day and beyond - I didn't have to try to sort out lesson plans or try to communicate that we couldn't have class that day if it weren't for her!

I have not taught since that Monday morning in March. I am grateful and relieved my principal was able to find a very competent sub to finish the school year for me. With a transplant and all that entails looming, my principal is looking for a medical leave sub for me for at least the first half of the next school year. I cannot thank my sixth grade colleagues and the administrative staff at my school enough - my absence has had a difficult, ripple effect, and I know the students were emotionally supported as they processed this sudden news.

Physically, most people notice that I look thinner than usual. I have probably lost about 30 pounds, but I think a lot of that has been muscle mass. It is true that I am not eating as much as I used to - eating is a chore anyway when I am under stress, and loss of appetite is a common side effect of chemo. Add to that mouth sores and thrush, and right now, eating is my very least favorite thing to do.

I have not lost my hair, although it has thinned quite a bit. Again, this is the side effect of chemo (which targets fast growing cells like hair cells), but also because I am likely not getting the nutrition I once did. I will lose my hair at the onset of the bone marrow transplant process.

Right now, the most physically challenging things for me to do are to shower and wash my hair. Due to the disease and what it's done to my blood, my body cannot easily regulate it's own temperature. Often I don't realize how cold I am until I get into the warm shower, and this is such a shock to my system that there have been times I've nearly blacked out. Washing my hair - whether standing in the shower or hanging my head under the faucet - is also tiring because of how much my arms have to work. (And this even after cutting several inches off of my hair length a few weeks ago.) After showering and hair washing, I usually go right to bed for awhile so my body can recover.

Through it all, I have tried to keep saying to myself "Take one day at a time." This is easier said than done. With a lot of unknown in the future, it is difficult not to worry or wonder or allow thoughts to spiral. I am grateful for my faith and the knowledge that everything is part of God's plan for me - while I do not always understand the plan, I must trust that the Lord knows what is best for me.

I would like to end with a message I received from a student when she was told about my diagnosis:

I heard that you have leukemia, and I hope you feel better. God will take your pain away, and he will always be by your side when you need him. Just know that we are always thinking of you and praying for you. I hope you will be back soon so we can see you and you will be healed.

AMEN!

written on May 19, 2026